Why did the house burn down? Obama

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

A baby seal walks into a club.

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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