Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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