Hats better than a stick? A stone

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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