A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops