Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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Women's rights.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops