Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Gus's mom

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops