Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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BIG MAC'S

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops