Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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White NBA players.

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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