Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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