Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do u call a gay dinosaur Tyran a sore arse

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -15

rent a cops

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops