What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 9 apps a crashin' 8 megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 12 illegal operations 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a gassing chamber and you are a jew

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What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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