Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops