A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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a man checks his mypsace

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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school homewrok

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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