How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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outside your comfort zone

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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Sloths

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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