How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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What happened to the boy who wnt through puberty? He bacame a man. There is nothing funny about a perfectly normal expirience that everyone goes through wether they like it or not.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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