Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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RUN

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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what do you call a white and black girl 69? ying yang

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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TOP KEK

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops