Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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