roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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