Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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