What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Asians.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops