Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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It got hit by a rocket.

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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