Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops