A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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A black person dies.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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Sloths

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops