A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

I wanted to impress this girl by showing her that I was good in math. So I went up to her, and told that I knew that the value of pi is 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233 786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006 606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146 951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749 567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190 702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827 785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923 542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049 951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010 003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882 353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201 065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775 283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319 255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767 837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752 162056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922796 782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995 690927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753566369807. She had a psychotic episode.

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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