Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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