horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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What do the angels say when god sneezes? Chuck bless you

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An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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