What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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what are three short words? i a am

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops