An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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