Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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What's the difference between a horse and a gorilla? Their penis size. Horses have relatively large penises, while gorillas are known to have the smallest penises proportional to their body size.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stairs? A:Because someone pushed him down.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops