How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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