What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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