rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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