You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

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Why do mexicans eat tacos? Because they're good

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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whats the difference between the same pair of shoes? one shoe is for the left an one if for the right

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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