Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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A dyslexic blind man

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops