What do you call double A's? Batteries

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops