Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I walk into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

thumb_up thumb_down -8

XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops