Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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Q: John eats 50 cany bars, eats 45, how many does he have now? A: Diabetes

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knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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Why did little john fall off his bike? Somebody threw microwave oven at him.

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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why did the white guy go to a black mans yard sale? to get his stuff back

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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Everybody will die

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What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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