Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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