Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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What's worse than a broke pencil TWO broken pencilz

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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