What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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your face

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What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops