Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

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I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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