Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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penis. nuff said.

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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Fine, ladies first.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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You're a big fat monkey.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Neil is a reterd.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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