What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops