What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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