How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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That's illegal What? Your mom

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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