Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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Go away still nothing to see

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops