Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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knock knock go away

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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