Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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Waseem is a hard worker.

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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13 =B you just learned something

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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hey hey apple

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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