Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops