Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If youre African, why are you white?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Black People

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops