Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops