stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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A midget walked under a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops