Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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