how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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