How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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