My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

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women's rights

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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bangers and mash?

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops