When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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What should you do if you are being chased by a black man. keep running and if he tag's you, then you should try tag him back since this is a simple game of tag.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

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what to call someone thats gay zak

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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