The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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Jersey Shore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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